conundrum

so tonight i sat down and realized that my life is really offtrack and nowhere near where i actually want it to be and kinda wish i could just do the last 4 years over and make radically different choices on just about everything. i guess it's time to try and rebuild it all.

i do stupid things at times

So today I tried - and subsequently failed at something entirely new - reading while driving. Essentially I woke up today with a really bad sore throat and could barely even swallow [cue joeybear making a stupid joke], so rather than going to my "fitness walking" class I opted to go to the doctor who informed that "I might have strep, but it might be too soon to tell." Gee, thanks. This might not seem relevant to the whole driving/reading thing, but since I was a walk-in appointment I had to wait a while. And while waiting I sat there reading The Amber Spyglass only to be rudely interrupted by the nurse at the height of seem weighty fucking action. So of course while sitting in a bit of traffic later trying to drive home I thought "I'm a talented lad, I'm sure I can handle reading the rest of this chapter while driving." After almost rear-ending the beamer in front of my nine times, getting honked at by the car behind me like 6 times for not moving, and getting the finger no less than twice by pedestrians did I realize I'm not nearly as talented as I've always presumed. A dark realization, to be sure.

classes

So I spent all weekend telling people I didn't start classes for almost two weeks, and was quite content in this plan as it gave me plenty of time to do such necessary things as add a class I need and talk to my advisor and rewatch all of 30 Rock and Firefly before needing to do anything even remotely studious. Today that dream came shattering down as I just learned that I've been lying to a bunch of people - including myself - because classes start Wednesday. "Woefully unprepared" doesn't quite do me justice right now.

awkward ringtones

So until tonight my ring tone has been Say Anything's "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too" and I never really thought about. Until dinner tonight, where it started ringing (sitting across the room) and I got really perplexed/worried looks from both parents as my phone sat there belting out "I called her on the phone and she touched herself. She touched herself. She touched herself. I called her on the phone and she touched herself. I laughed myself to sleep." My sister just laughed a lot, and I buried my head in my plate and promptly changed my ring tone after dinner.

politique

So tonight I watched the New Hampshire debates, and was astoundingly underwhelmed by it all. It was a bit too long to try and do any real recap, but there were a few things that stood out and so in lieu of trying to write in any real connected paragraph format I'm just going to do the cool bullet-point thing for the rest of this.

• Giuliani pisses me off. One thing he kept saying that bothers me to know end is that pulling troops out of Iraq would show al-Qaida that they can beat us. This is just stupid, and makes it pretty clear Giuliani has no real concept of how terrorism or guerilla warfare actually work. Simply put, al-Qaida has won, and will continue to win as long as the US continues to toil away in Iraq while ignoring more pressing domestic and international issues. Let’s make a list of all the Iraq war has accomplished:
  

1. It’s polarized and disillusioned the population
   
2. it’s eroded our personal freedoms
   
3. it’s cost billions of dollars in taxpayer’s money
4. it’s tanked the economy and weakened the value of the dollar
5. it’s caused widespread mistrust of the federal government – both domestically and abroad
   
6. it’s destroyed world opinion of us and weakened our ability to negotiate internationally
7. and because that all isn’t quite enough it’s also cost thousands of Americans their lives

You know, if I were a terrorist looking to destroy the US I’d probably be chalking that up in the “win” category.

• Why is it so bad to ever change your mind in politics? It just seems asinine to have to choose one particular view and stick with it until Jesus fucking comes again or risk being nailed to a sign emblazoned “FLIP FLOPPER!” It’s the kind of perseverance you see with retarded 5-year olds who can’t quite figure out the shaped peg-in-hole game but for some reason when applied to politics it becomes conviction and it’s the end all be all of candidacy. You know what? Fuck conviction. I’d much rather support someone who is able to acknowledge changing times and let his beliefs evolve and grow with the nation’s needs than some asshole who refuses to stray from some mundane outlook just because he once adopted it for his own. The same thing happens when you argue politics with your friends, too. You’ll make some point they’ll concede to, or say something like “gee wiz, I never thought about it like that!” and you’ll think you’ve made a difference in the world and shown one more person the light and then the next damn day you see them pledging their support to mike fucking huckabee or hilary clinton on facebook and you realize “no, I just wasted a bunch of my life” and everything just sucks. Seriously people, whatever happened to valuing argument for arguments sake? Debating not to convince someone of something but to rather develop and evolve one’s own ideas? Fuck your convictions and your small-minded two party bullshit.

• I want to see an Edwards/Richardson ticket. I’m not a huge John Edwards fan, but I think he has the charisma and the southern accent to get elected, while being moderate enough to not actively damage America. Conversely, I’m a big Bill Richardson fan, and think he’d do a swell job as President but suffers from a large case of no-one-knowing-who-the-fuck-I-am-itis. I think Hilary and Obama are both still cruising primarily on name recognition and early fund-raising (especially Clinton…I really don’t see how people can listen to her debate and then still want to vote for her), but an Edwards/Richardson ticket is where it’s at. On a related note I think Democrats are underestimating the conservative undertones of America; the big names (read: Obama and Clinton) are both trying to seem very left-wing, and while that might win primaries it’s a sure-fire way to lose the national election. Moderates win elections, and I think a lot of America would rather vote for a McCain or Romney or Huckabee than Hilary Clinton; and goddamn do we really want 4-8 years of a Mike Huckabee? Chuck Norris aside I happen to like my government without a side of bible-thumping, and unfortunately all the Republican candidates seem to be going the theocrat route. Except for Ron Paul who’s going the “I don’t have a shot in hell of winning the bid” route. Democrats need to remember 2000 and especially 2004 and start supporting candidates who can actually win rather than the ones who make the best liberal demagogues, because despite what they keep telling themselves 2008 is going to be far from a gimme.

• Fred Thompson amuses the hell out of me, even though I’d never vote for him. Everything the man says cracks me up and makes me want to go re-watch seasons 13-17 of law and order just to see him laying down the law as district attorney. I almost knocked over my lego death star laughing when he was making fun of Giuliani.

This isn't at all political, but the His Dark Materials trilogy is awesome. I'm on the third book now (this is my first time reading them since middle school, and I forgot how great they were) and everyone should go read them because they're really good books. On a similar note, if you haven't seen The Golden Compass yet do yourself a favor and go see it. It's great. Also I love how blog-tastic this last paragraph is as I really haven't said anything even approaching substance but I used a lot of unqualified adjectives like awesome and great but I'm OK with it because it's 4 am and I'm allowed to be lazy with my diction.